In one of my classes, I had the privilege of getting interviewed by another student. He asked me the questions that skimmed the surface of who I was as an individual and sifted through my responses and compiled a beautifully written story about yours truly. He asked one question in a sarcastic manner that truly stuck with me.. "have you found your soul mate yet?" I sat there feeling like an idiot.. yet? CELLO I'm twenty! I'm not even mature enough to fully love myself. I thought back to the day I fought with my parents for an entire night about my desire to progress my first serious relationship into an eternal commitment. My parents.. my loving, wise, caring, all knowing parents knew they couldn't change my mind so they let me make my own choices. I continued on in my relationship for two months until I learned the hard way what my parents had so tirelessly tried to save me from. I could have lessened the heartache, avoided the regret, saved the tears, eliminated the depths of depression I allowed myself to sink to, but would have missed the chance to truly figure it out for myself. My parents were there for me on the mornings when my biggest accomplishment was getting out of bed, the afternoons when a familiar song came on the radio and ripped open the healing wound, and the nights when my mind refused to see the positive side of my decision. They knew. They knew from the beginning but saw the importance of learning from experience.. even though the experience was harsh. I love them. I love them for supporting me in each decision I make, believing in my dreams, allowing me to be myself, and giving me every possible opportunity for success. When I'm mature enough, I long to have the relationship they have. The love and companionship that has rendered them through over 25 years of marriage and the upbringing of 4 stubborn, irreverent (well.. 3 out of the 4), beautiful children (again.. 3 out of the 4) ((kidding)).
Until then I don't believe I sit alone without a soul mate. I believe I have found mine. My soul mate is a talented, driven, gorgeous, confident (i'm not talkin about myself people) young lady that I befriended years ago. I remember standing in the halls of Lowell Scott Middle School towering over my fellow classmates by inches, sometimes even feet. As if middle school isn't awkward enough- try being taller than nearly every boy and girl and in some cases teachers, having red hair and having train tracks running all up on my teeth. My confidence for obvious reasons wasn't exactly beaming. One day I hovered over my friends and listened to their stories about dance and boyfriends when I saw my soul mate. She too was hovering over her friends. So there was no music playing, no cherubs flying around, no magic connection that would confirm that this individual would continue by my side for the rest of my life. So what if this individual is the same gender as me? She gets me. She's the closest thing I have to a soul mate. She is... Kristin Wiberg. People have asked me to try and describe our friendship and I stare at them with complete confusion. There are no words to it. There's no combination of words I can put on the back of a postcard, no song that I can sing la de da... It's just life. It's just a bond we share that is personal enough to be without description. I love her. Some unclassy lady from Sex and the City said; "Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and boys are just people to have fun with,". It's true for now. It was true the day we entered the twin contest at LSMS by finding a XXXL winter coat in the lost and found, squishing in it and trying to win as Siamese twins, it was true the day she rode all night on a greyhound bus with past, present, and future convicts to Salt Lake City to come on spring break with me and my parents, it was true the night Kristin left a door open and let a bird fly into the house and terrorize us for hours, it was true the day she called and cried about her first real heartbreak and I cried harder than she did, it was true the day I saw her after her return to the mainland, and it is true today. She's my lady.. and in a non-sexual way I am hers. Cheers folks!
Never say that someone completes you. We have to feel whole even when we are by ourselves. For needing a certain someone is not love, but dependency. Wanting a person to become a part of your life is the best reason for having them. So rather than search for the someone who will complete you, wait for the person that will compliment your completeness.