I ain't no momma

A great deal of my 'free time' is spent babysitting. A lot of college aged girls do it and try to sophisticate what they are doing by saying "im a nanny" but lets be honest.. they aren't. You can't force maturity on a title... or at least I can't. I don't care to. I'm a babysitter. Sure, call me 13 again, but it pays and it's easy. generally. Most days the kids are fun and easy to entertain but then there are days like today... and yesterday. I'm not the biggest supporter of children spending hours watching television and playing video games so when I babysit I have one rule. No more than one hour in front of the television.
not on my watch kids.

So my little buddy wanted to watch TV for a half hour and spend the other half hour playing Wii. Fine by me. When his half hour of precious Wii time was over I asked him to shut it off and come play outside with me. He literally stuck his tongue out at me and continued to play. I sat there in disbelief. Did I at one point in my life respond to people like that? I'm sure I did. Actually, I'll guarantee I did. But that's not the point. I told him that if he didn't shut it off by the time I walked up and down the stairs that I'd shut it off for him. So I walked up and down the stairs and came back down to see my sweet little guy clawing at his face and started screaming "I HATE YOU!!! YOU ARE THE WORST!" K great... Tell me something I don't already know kid. Sure I could have let him play for another hour and it would have made my afternoon go by easier but I don't go back on my word. I'm mean like that.

So as he continued to claw his face off he contorted his body to a strange shape and screamed "I HATE YOU! ALL I WANT TO DO IS PLAY THE WII! I'M GOING TO THROW UP! I AM SERIOUSLY GOING TO THROW UP!" I didn't know how to deal with the situation so I figured the best thing to do was to let him throw his tantrum and open the bathroom door so in case he really did need to toss his cookies, he would take care of that in the bathroom and not all over the floor for me to clean up. So he ran into the bathroom still tellin me how much he hates me and that he was still feeling like he was going to throw up. The screaming continued for oh.. 5 minutes. Then silence for a while. I poked my head into the bathroom and saw my little bugger was dead asleep at the foot of the toilet. I guess that's one way to solve it...

Then today.. oh today. I'm not a mother so I don't have maternal instincts so what happened today was beyond my ability to comprehend and accept. My sweet little 2 year old needed a diaper change immediately if not sooner. we hustled to the bathroom to take care of the problem and unwrapped the diaper to find something I will never recover from. I twisted my body to grab the wipes and turned back around to find the worst case scenario of babysitting scenario's. My princess decided to put her hands in places that hands shouldn't go. ever. In the short time of me twisting my body to grab the wipes the problem in the diaper became the problem of my jeans, the cupboards, the bathroom rugs, the floor, and the face, hair, tummy, shoulders of this adorable girl. Because I totally wanted to clean up your poop from more areas than one.

kristin wiberg i dedicate this little video to you. enjoy.